"Livy's Hope"

Please visit our new website for Olivia titled "Livy's Hope" at the following link:

www.livyshope.com

All updates will be made to the new site moving forward. Thank you for visiting!

Wise Words To Remember

I was getting ready this morning in the bathroom and I heard Hailey talking to Livy in our bedroom, "Do you want to do some art with me today? You do? OK, let's do some sand art!". I walked out and saw her hugging Livy and they were just smiling at each other. They looked so happy, just smiling away as sisters do. I smiled too as I walked back into the bathroom.

It's been a difficult week and a half here. Livy's seizures had increased and we weren't really sure why. It's been one of those roller coaster rides that I don't like to go on. But the sun is out and it is a beautiful day. My girls are happy and I am reveling. I was remembering very clearly what someone once told me, "I wish for a happy child and not necessarily a healthy child. I have seen many very healthy but very unhappy children." We have been blessed with a very happy child...two to be exact. And today I, too, will be happy.

Search For Meaning

We are all on a quest in life to find the meaning of things. Why are we here, why do bad things happen, what is my purpose...? This is something I have been struggling with for some time. Someone recommended the book "Man's Search For Meaning" and as difficult as it is to read, I have found it very inspiring. The three most important things in life are to love and be loved, finding purpose through work whatever that may be, and struggle. With this combination we are given the best of life and can appreciate and find purpose.

Olivia has provided all of these to me whether or not at times I can see it. She is my unconditional love, both given and returned. Her smile alone has all the love in the world. Just one look and I know she loves and feels loved. As difficult as it is sometimes to care for her physically and mentally, I have purpose in being her mom, her caregiver, and she puts all her trust in me. And lastly, struggle. I am so familiar with this...I have faced it time and time again. I am still learning that without it I will never know how precious and amazing this little girl is. As deep in struggle I have been, I have also been lifted up, to heights not everyone can experience. For that, I have purpose.

One Week To Go

Well it has been almost three weeks with Livy's cast. She is doing much better and has seemed to adjust. It is still a challenge moving her around and it really takes two people to get her in and out of the car. Next Tuesday can't come soon enough. We are still waiting to get an update from the investigators. It has been a tough road not knowing what the next steps will be. I'm trying to take this all one day at a time.

My mom and dad were here last week to help and Jon's mom and step dad have been helping out with picking up Hailey from school. Can't imagine how we would do this alone.

Let's pray her leg has healed so we can move forward...it's time we get our lives back on track.

Another Difficult Road

Who would have know that last Monday after that great dentist visit, life would take such a bad turn. For those of you who have not yet heard, Olivia broke her leg at school last Monday the 1st. I went to pick her up and she was crying and in a lot of pain. We took her to the orthopedic doctor and come to be, she had a broken left femur. She is in a full leg cast for a month. There is an investigation taking place at the school and the Department of Children and Families is involved as well.

As of now, we do not have any answers and are obviously very upset. We know that she was picked up to be changed and then put down onto the floor. It has been a very difficult week especially for Livy. She has been having an increase in seizures due to the stress and pain. It is especially hard not knowing how she if feeling and that she can't tell us what happened.

Her cast is to be taken off on March 2nd. We're just praying she improves with each day and heals quickly. This is one of the LAST things Livy needed in her life. And she had been doing so well up to this point. Knowing her, she will come through this being the fighter that she is.

I will be taking some time off from posting to "Views From Our Shoes" but will update soon on how Olivia is doing.

Fitting Right In

I felt it important to write about a great experience we had today. It was Olivia's 6 month dentist cleaning appointment this morning and for someone who HATES going to the dentist (that's me!) I really love going to our girls' dentist office. For one, they are just terrific people. All very cheerful and sweet. I especially love how wonderfully they treat Olivia. When she first started going there years ago, she had a very high sensitivity to her mouth. We could barely get in there ourselves to brush her teeth. She was very vocal and would clearly be upset. They scheduled her first visit at a time we would be alone in the office. They were so accommodating and professional and took such good care of us.

When we walk in the door, I feel like we just fit in. It is such a great feeling seeing Livy in the "big" chair getting her teeth cleaned. I always leave there happy...they are all contagious! For moms like me, it is pretty cool having a "unique" girl like Livy but sometimes we just want them to be "typical". Who would have thought it would be with the dentist?

One Of My Favorite Poems

To those who have not read it and to those who have read it many, many times...

"Welcome to Holland"

By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.