Turn The Light Back On

Our family spent time on New Year's Eve writing a resolution list for this year. One for Jon, Hailey, Olivia, me and one for the family. They included the usual things like learning something new, working harder at something, and one of my favorites for Hailey, helping Livy to walk and talk. I am adding a new resolution to my list, to "turn the light back on in my life".

Last night I read an entry from one of the blogs I follow: Calm Amongst the Chaos

The author speaks about how she learned to turn her light back on after having a child with special needs. It amazes me how much in common I have with these other moms. It is as though she is speaking my words, my story. I told Jon that was what was missing from my life. That light that once shined so bright. Yes, there are times when there is a sparkle, a ray of light that comes from within but not that complete, whole, honest and true light.

My journey begins now to find ways to come out of this cave I sometimes find myself in. It includes fully learning to accept Livy the way she is and find comfort in what she is not. Five years into this journey and still I struggle. It is especially difficult when our children get sick and regress. It is during those times I need the most strength.

So I ask, what has your journey been to bring the light back in? Have you turned it back on or do you continue to search? Hoping this new year will bring my "series of events" to my "light bulb moment"!