This Lovely Life

From time to time I find myself searching for books, articles, blogs, anything that I can relate to when it comes to Olivia. Some people would call me crazy...why would I want to relive all of the sadness and horrors of Livy's time after she was born and the many hospital visits we have experienced? Why would I want to reopen wounds and remember all that has happened? I can only say that I must do so to find comparisons, to find someone else who went through what we went through. Someone who "gets it".

I found myself reading My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult during one of Livy's hospital stays a couple of years ago. For those of you who had read the book or seen the movie, you can see how I can relate. The story is quite different but there were so many similarities from the viewpoint of the mom. Looking back now I can't believe I read that as I sat by Livy's hospital bed, but at the time, it was therapy for me.

I just finished reading This Lovely Life by Vicki Forman. Here is the description on the author's website:

"Vicki Forman gave birth to Evan and Ellie at twenty-three weeks gestation and weighing just a pound at birth. During the delivery, she begged the doctors to “let her babies go”–she knew all too well that at twenty three weeks they could very well die, and if they survived, they would face a high risk of permanent disabilities. However, California law demanded resuscitation. Her daughter died just four days later; her son survived and is indeed multiply-disabled."

Once again, I was drawn in, understanding so well how this mom felt. At times I had to put the book down and walk away. Her story was full of such grief and loss but also hope. She so clearly explains her emotions and so openly shares her thoughts. I've often thought of writing a book of my own, but for now, I will continue to seek comfort from others, knowing we are never alone.