Unique Twins

When Jon and I found out around 11 weeks into my pregnancy that we were having twins, we knew we were in for a challenge. When we found out hours after the girls were born that we were to raise one child with special needs as well, we knew we were in for a very special challenge. Those first few months were such a blur, raising one little baby at home and tending to another in a NICU. In the saddest of times, Jon would always remind me how much joy Hailey brought us. She made us laugh when all we could do was cry. She taught us how to smile again, how to enjoy life. It was because of her that we were able to make it through.

They will always be unique twins, different but so similar in so many ways. We try our best to give them the same amount of attention and treat them as typical twins are treated telling them they have to "wait their turn". We try not to use the word "special" when talking about Livy to Hailey. They are both special and we tell them both how lucky they are to have each other. They still share clothes, hair accessories, and other things typical twins share. The day has not come yet for Hailey to say, "That's mine and Livy can't have it". I hope it stays this way for some time.

We talked to Hailey last night about how children will ask questions about Livy. They will want to know why she is in a wheelchair, why she can't talk or walk, and why she can't eat with her mouth. She understands that Livy is "learning" and that her brain did not grow the same way when I was pregnant with them. We very well know the day will come when someone says something hurtful. We can only hope that Hailey knows what to say and feels confident to stand up to them. We continue to relish the moments when we see them look at each other and only see love...sisters who share so much.

A great resource for siblings of those with special needs:

The Sibling Support Project is a national effort dedicated to the life-long concerns of brothers and sisters of people who have special health, developmental, or mental health concerns.